The C Word Sucks

Overstating the obvious is one of my many talents. My sister will have surgery on the 27th of this month remove a 1B non-small cell tumor from her lung. She will have to have follow up chemo...I was lucky that I didn't have to do that part for my treatment journey last May. Can you believe that she and I both had the big C word diagnosis within the same year? And then there's my friend Kathi Goertzen who is continuing to battle a benign growth that is intertwined in her brain stem. Lord! The poor girl has had so many damn surgeries it is heartbreaking. Just the other day she spent an entire day in a three phase surgery. So, guess what? Benign tumors are still hell. She is one helluva fighter though and recuperating quite well but why does this crap keep happening? Life is so random. So, the lesson here is that we must all live our lives like each day could be our last. Don't waste time being petty, fearful, or awful. Go out and live fully and love completely. Practice aloha....

Life is a Journey --that should be enjoyed!

Life is a beautiful journey with many peaks and valleys. Sometimes the valleys seem too deep but if we just look up and keep trudging we can see the beauty ahead of us...beauty created by God. I am not going to get all churchy because it is too early in the morning for me to do that but I just wanted to share that most of our life lessons are learned in the valleys. When we are on the peaks it feels so good that we tend to enjoy it and not look down or up for that matter. I am a typical mother who worries about her kids and grandchildren. I can't help it. So, their valleys are my valleys and sometimes it is a good reminder to let them experience the valleys for their own growth but at other times it is very scary to watch as one of them keeps walking into the thicket...or worse is allowing herself to be lead into dangerous areas...when all she really needs to do is LOOK UP. God will lead her out of the darkness if she would just look up. Sigh. Life is a gift. aloha.

Weird Coincidences

Okay, so yesterday I was asking why it feels like time is flying by...and I surmised that it is because we need a reminder to live fully. Well, duh. Time feels like it's flying by because it is. I guess when you have more time behind ya than in front of you...oh well you get the picture. Anyway, got really upsetting news today that my sister has lung cancer. She is probably doing better than I am, which is scary because I have always been the strong one. Anyway, prayer works and I am asking everyone I know to please pray that the doctors can cut it out and that will be the end of it. Please kiss your loved ones who are near and call or write those who aren't and tell them you love them. Life is short and getting shorter each day. So please live with gratitude and appreciate what and who you have. Our lives and what happens to us is all in God's hands. Live aloha!

January 2012 is Gone

This is the last day of January 2012. I am freaked out by how fast time flies. When we were kids it seemed like everything took so long to happen or come to fruition - now it is frightening how fast time is flying by. What is that all about anyway? Has to be a reminder that we are all mortal and that one day one minute one instant it could all be over. Cheerful thought, eh? Well, it can be looked at from both sides. I will choose to take it as a great reminder to live each moment to the fullest. Another favorite quote and lesson from my son Cory. "Live like there's no tomorrow...love with all your heart and laugh until your spirit lights up!" Live aloha.

Re-connecting with old friends!

I was so pleasantly surprised this week when out of the blue I received an email from my son's 1st grade teacher Teresa Goethe. This was as a result of one of those six degrees of separation or small world deals because there is a class photograph in my book on page 100 where Teresa and the kids are sitting in rows. Well, someone she works with now - 30 years later recognized her while reading my book. So she approached Teresa at work with this information. Anyway, long story short - Teresa dug out some photos from that school year - photos I had never seen before...she scanned them and emailed them to me. What a treat! I cried of course and then immediately posted them on my Facebook page to share with my friends and family members who either knew him, loved him or knew of him from reading my book. If any of you out there who read this blog have pictures to share with me - please do! Aloha!

My sister Penny

So, as if my family hasn't been struck by lightning too many times already - I got a scared and scary telephone call from my sister Penny last week and it has taken me this long to digest it. She was coughing and not able to sleep so she went to the doctor for cough syrup... she ended up with X-rays, CT scan, PET scan, biopsy and massive amount of blood work. Waiting for results but am hopeful that the "mass" they are seeing in her scans is a fungal infection rather than a tumor. We should know something in a few days. Not sure why it takes so long but sitting on pins and needles sucks. Reminds of my past. Please pray for the infection. I am. Aloha.

MLK Day

Just woke up and it hit me what a sad day this really is...MLK was killed in his prime. He had so much to offer us as a society and a country and it was gone in an instant. There is the possibility that he his lessons had a stronger impact because of the way he died and the timing...I am sure his family doesn't go there but just think he was a man who put his pants on one leg at a time just like the rest of us. If he could change the world any one of us can too if we put our minds to it. I know my thoughts are rambling this morning but --- my next thought went to those jerks who create viruses just to screw with people...crash computers, etc. Just because they can and they want to feel powerful and somehow get a kick out of making others miserable. Well, if they would use their intelligence for good rather than evil deeds just think of what they could accomplish! When my grandson Keawe was six years old he came home from school having learned about MLK that day and said to me, "Puna when I grow up I want to be a good man like Dr. Martin Luther King." Love triumphs over evil! I choose the good guys. Here's to you Dr. King!

Power of Friendship

I moved from my home town a few months ago where I had quite a number of really great friends...mostly girlfriends. I miss them. It has been difficult to meet women my own age here and that is okay but it just makes me miss my female circles from Seattle more. Well, that just puts me on FB and email more often. I recently put out a FB plea for help finding someone who would help me promote OVER THE RAINBOW BRIDGE for little or no money. My dear friend Suzi Hedrick Beerman connected me via her friend Jinx to Nikki Orzel. OMG! I love this woman. I sent her a copy of my book so she could read it and maybe come up with some great ideas for how to help me. She called me this week and we talked for nearly two and a half hours! I feel like we have known each other forever. She felt the same way and has now done an email introduction of me to her circle of fabulous women friends. I hope to one day meet them all in-person but in the meantime, it has given me a real boost to have expanded my list of fabulous female friends. Friendship is so important and I cherish all of my friends male or female. Plus this week I have been in contact with Barb my dear friend from thirty years ago. Anyway, I have been spending my free time writing short stories. Barb has helped me tremendously by reading them and giving me feedback. I also heard via email or cell from Heather, cousin Gail, sister Penny, cousin Sue and so many others via Facebook. I love you all!

The Last Day of 2011

I don't know about you but 2011 seemed to fly right on by me... It was an eventfilled year from my viewpoint with highs and lows. Of course the breast cancer was definitely a low and my youngest getting her heart stomped on by a guy she thought was wonderful another low but my eldest daughter giving birth to an angel child is right at the top of the highs! Also, moving to be near the grandsons --especially since it is paradise here a definite HIGH. So, that my friends is life... ups and downs. The other important part of acknowledging that life is a roller coaster ride is in facing down your fears and upsets, looking for the lesson or the good in the situation - hopefully there is at least a tiny bit to see and feel. That said, I am stilled really ticked off at the jerk that hurt my baby girl and given the chance I would smack at least ten or twelve inches off of his giant ego but the civilized part of me has to say, "he did her a favor because clearly he wasn't right for her and she would have come in second to his basketball, which would not have worked in the long run." This is me trying to be forgiving. hah. Anyway, have a safe New Year's Eve tonight...drive defensively and soberly. Much aloha, and let's all cheer for the onset of 2012. It's going to be another awesome year to be alive on this beautiful planet. Live aloha!

Saying Good-bye Is So Hard

So, my last post was about the importance of family at holiday time. Well, I got up early on Christmas morning and since everyone else was still asleep I signed in to Facebook to catch up on my friends' goings on. I read with sadness that my dear friend's mom had passed that morning. Ten years ago my father died on Christmas Eve so I know how hard the holidays hit when grieving the loss of someone you love but Christmas morning has got to be worse. My prayers and my heart and my hugs are being sent to all of Nancy's loved ones. Nancy, you will be missed but we all know that you are free of pain and singing in God's choir now. To Shari, Mike, Michelle, Christopher, Christine, Paul and Kathy, et al... sit with your memories of when Nancy was alive and well. Those memories will help ease the pain. Even though it is hard to say good-bye, sometimes it is a blessing. Grief is a natural by-product of saying a permanent good-bye to a loved one...it is not a mental illness that needs curing. Grief is what it is and you have to go through it---feel it --- and face it. You can't ignore it, run from it or deny it. If you try - it will come back to bite you in the you know where when you least expect it. I have seen that happen too many times. Live Aloha.

Importance of Family

Tomorrow is Christmas Eve 2011. What a year this has been! I am so grateful for the love of my husband, daughters, grandsons, etc. This is the time of year when being close to family really matters. I am away from my husband for the first time in 26 years... we can handle it but it wasn't by choice and it doesn't feel all that great but I do have my daughters, grandsons and soon to be son-in-law right here and that feels wonderful. So, be kind to each other and enjoy the next few weeks---hopefully with your loved ones. This is also the time of year when you miss those who have crossed over the rainbow bridge already. Say a prayer and refresh your memories of the good times you shared with those who aren't here in body any longer. I miss ya Grandpa, Cory, Mom, Dad, Annie, Michael, Alycia and so many others. Too many. God's blessings and Live aloha!

Life lessons from a baby

My new little grandson lights up the room with his presence. You just look at him and he bursts into a gigantic smile that fills his whole face...but its his twinkling eyes that takes my breath away. If you have ever watched America's Next Top Model you know what schmizing is...smiling with your eyes. Keoni has that perfected. Babies are so pure and Keoni is pure joy. Which brings me to my observation about older humans. I work at a booth at the harbor where people come to go on whale watching tours, snorkeling adventures, fishing expeditions, etc. It is shocking to see people of all ages (but not babies) who are on vacation -- some for the first time to Maui walking by with scowls on their faces! And some people are so grouchy! I just want to say, you saved your money and counted down the days til your trip was to start and you get over here and you cannot smile??? Please people if you can't have a good attitude in sunny tropical GORGEOUS Maui - you've got a problem. And for all those pouty little tweens and teenagers stay home already. Do you know how many kids don't get to vacation on Maui? I am so glad that I get to come home to the schmizing eyes of a truly happy baby!

Birthday Memories

Today is Keili Elisabeth's birthday. I woke up calculating what we were doing 23 years ago. With the time difference between Hawaii and North Carolina I decided that my husband, my older daughter Brie and my mom were with me in the post-recovery room with the new baby bundled up and being passed from one to the other of us. What a warm feeling I got remembering that time. I called my husband to thank him for helping create such a beautiful child. Then because times being what they are -- I got on FB and wrote my daughter a quick Happy Birthday message. I am sure she isn't up yet. But, the cool part was that on her FB page there were already dozens of birthday greetings to her. She will wake up and turn on her I-Phone and read all the great messages...what a treat. Time goes by way too fast. I cannot believe she is already 23. What a blessing to have her in my life. Thank you Lord for giving me the privilege of raising and nurturing such a beautiful soul. Another reminder friends, life is short...cherish those you love and tell them as often as you can. I love you all.

writing down my thoughts....

Okay, I am trying to write here more regularly. I once read that famous author and my grandmother's cousin Jack London forced himself to sit down and write for at least 20-30 minutes a day. I admire that and want to emulate his work ethic. I have been out of whack the past two days and have laid low. This gave me too much time to think about life. Is it my imagination or has there been more violent crimes-more women who have disappeared and a lot of little kids who have allegedly been snatched from their homes? How many of those were later found out to be that the parents killed him or her? Too many is the answer. It is unthinkable to me. My son died from a horrible disease and I would give anything to have had a positive outcome. I cherish the memories I have of him and to think that these monsters had healthy children who they beat, burned, drowned, or whatever...makes me beyond sad. Love your children. Hug them and tell them how much you love them every opportunity you get. Same goes for your parents, siblings and friends. Life is short---eat dessert first.

Using puppies for research----really????

Am I the only person who is outraged to find out that there is an organization rescuing beagle dogs who have been caged up and used for experiments their entire lives???? The video of these sad little defenseless doggies too afraid to leave their crates and touch grass with their paws is heartbreaking and makes me really angry. What is wrong with our society? What are they doing to these dogs? Are they using kittens too? Lord have mercy! Are we talking cosmetics, cancer research or cold capsules? I am still stunned just thinking about those little doe eyed faces filled with fear.

Scratching My Head

Aloha. Well, I am totally on my high horse this morning after reading stories on-line that are so disturbing. First, a story from Port Angeles Washington where a couple murdered a woman whom they had been friends with for 13 years. The man who did the deed with his bare hands is likely to get life in prison. His girlfriend/accomplice might get 11 months! Yeah, because this is a first offense. What the hell is wrong with the system? A few years back two cars with four to five kids in each drove up to a Seattle high school in broad day light. A passenger in the first car opened fire and killed a 16 year old girl. The prosecutors charged all of the kids in both cars the same. Now, one could argue that it was entirely possible that the kids in the second car had no idea that this dumb ass was going to shoot and kill someone. I would also speculate that not all of the kids in the car the shooter was riding in had known he would do such a stupid reckless thing...BUT, they all got charged with the same crime and they all got sent to prison. As I recall this was a first offense for all of the kids in both cars. Where was the leniency then? Was it because they weren't white kids? All of the kids were Filipinos and the victim was a beautiful young woman who was at least part white. Why should this young woman in Port Angeles get leniency? Who is making these ridiculous decisions? The other story that has me riled up is that Barbara Walters included the Kardashians in her special about Most Fascinating People. Give us all a HUGE break Babs and stop giving these people airtime. Using someone for ratings...showing naked yoga...talking about enemas...butt implants... and whatever else these silly crass - albeit filthy rich - people do...but I for one am sick of our society making people like them celebrities. For what? The only notable things they have done are based in negative nasty gross behavior. Enough already!!! Barbara you should be ashamed.

Reconnecting

Aloha! Lately and especially this week of "thanks giving" I have been fortunate enough to reconnect with friends I hadn't talked to or seen in a while. What fun I had with my dear friend Jamie Williams Jensen while she was here on the island. It had been way too long! Then, I had recently talked on the phone with Jeff Poth. He is someone I have known since Jr. High School. In fact, we were almost related. His older brother Michael was one of my very first true loves. For those of you who have read "Over the Rainbow Bridge" Michael was my friend that Cory met in Summerland. He died a year after he had suffered a broken neck and brain injuries sustained while swimming and jumping off the giant boulders at Green River Gorge. Anyway, Jeff and I chatted recently and then I sent him and his wife Deb a Thanksgiving text and we exchanged emails and family photographs. I hadn't seen Deb since Jeff's dad passed away and I hadn't seen Jeff since I ran into him in an elevator at the King County Courthouse a few years back. Their kids are all grown up and doing well. Just love to hear that my friends have done well for themselves. Such a treat since Jeff was always more like my little brother - even though he's at least 6'4" maybe 6'5" tall! I am truly thankful for the many friends that have made my life that much more interesting...fulfilling and rewarding. Mahalo friends...Aloha!

Thanksgiving

Happy Thanksgiving! Another day to reflect on our many blessings. Sometimes we get experiences in our lives that are so terrible at the time but later we see the lesson, blessing, silver lining that comes from it. Whether its a job loss, a relationship break up or a friendship that fades away. These losses can be horrific. Then, you later realize that the person did you a huge favor by showing you his or her true self... that you don't want to have this person in your life. Or the job was too stressful...not enough pay...or you had to put up with so much bull crap that it wasn't worth it and that you are much better off without it so that you can move on and find a more fulfilling job or if its a relationship--you can find someone much better suited to your values and personality. Life is short so choose well. I am thankful for the many blessings I have been given and yes, I am grateful for even the bad times so that I know how lucky I am for the good ones. Aloha!

Surprising Pain Reliever

My beautiful brilliant son Cory used to say wise and witty things all the time. He was a little boy who had been blessed with infinite wisdom. If you have read my book you know that he and I shared an incredible relationship. And, that when he was blind and hardly able to move I gave him permission to use cuss words to give him an outlet for his pain, anger and frustration. Well, imagine how surprised I was to see an article headline on-line the other day that was about a study that concluded that using cuss words relieves physical pain. I loved it...we were miles ahead of our time! I can still hear his little voice from the three rooms away saying "S-GD-SOB!" I didn't let him use the F word. Maybe I should have...
Live Aloha!

New Life

I have been blessed to be able to bond with my new grandson. Watching him grow so quickly -- its truly amazing really. Anyway, seeing the changes in him on a daily basis is a great reminder of how time flies...how life moves at such an incredible pace that we should all slow down and count our many blessings. I told you last time about my cousin Jimmy crossing over the rainbow bridge...well, my other cousin Ralph pointed out that Jimmy was the third and last son of my aunt and uncle's to die before them. What a cruel thing to happen. They were all adults by the time they passed but still...
Kerry, David and now Jimmy were all babies to my aunt. You gotta live gratitude. And while you are at it --- LIVE ALOHA.