Grief Comes in Different Shapes

Well, I just finished helping my friend Lola sort through our dear friend Phyllis' condo and storage units. Phyllis passed away right before Thanksgiving from mestastatic breast cancer that had traveled to her brain. I miss her beautiful smile and gentle spirit but I know that she and Alycia are tearing it up on the other side of the rainbow bridge. Helping Lola was very cathartic in so many ways. I had known Phyllis for about 6 or 7 years. We were both part of a women's group and we called ourselves The Emerald City Jewels...or just jewels for short. Anyway, what a marvelous group of women! We gathered once a month for great food and great conversation. We started with seven and with first Alycia leaving us and now Phyllis we are a sad but mighty original five. We had added a few more women along the way such as Lola and a few others...but the original five are bonded tightly. Well, back to helping at the condo...our dear friend Phyllis was a very private person. She kept her illness a secret for as long as she could. Not sure if she didn't want to burden anyone or just wanted to cope in her own way but I really felt the need to do something for Phyllis so helping Lola was my way of coping with the grief and loss of my beautiful friend. Sure we cried when we found certain items and writings...but it wasn't about me or Lola it was indeed about Phyllis. So long dear friend.

Courage

Having the courage to stand up and do the right thing is instilled in us from childhood. I think that courage is displayed in many ways. Standing up to bullies is one... bucking your peers and doing the right thing as opposed to the popular thing is another. Facing down a life-threatening illness with dignity is true courage. Some do it with flair while others do it quietly. If you have ever observed kids who are coping with cancer you know that they are usually doing it quietly but they are made of steel. I know many adults who have had cancer. Again, some handle it well others do not. I have never seen a child or teen patient do it badly. I especially am blown away by the young ones such as Cory who adapt and get on with it. They don't whine and fuss. They take their treatments like little soldiers and continue the battle. Then, they play. We adults need to be more like them.